So, what was once an isolated incident — that was somewhat swept under the rug — is now a launch pad for right wings, leftist, feminist, arm-chair QBs, ya mama, ya mama’s mama and so on. I’m slightly addicted the 140 character window of opinion sharing opportunity that is Twitter. Sadly, it is a vortex for misinformation, and springboard for “here’s my take” based of said misinformation. Thankfully, I have this microscopic piece of world-wide web property and I can speak uninterrupted by character barriers.
Don’t ever hit a woman. Every man has heard it. Don’t ever hit anyone. A lot fewer people have heard that. Self-control. It is preached way more than it is practiced. You leave yourself vulnerable when you fail to practice self-control. Janay Palmer did not practice self-control. Ray Rice did not practice self-control. Both are suffering. Whose is worst and to what extent is not my call. A lack of self-control has caused a man to not only lose his job, but his spouse(trust, she’s going to dip), the respect of his fans and possibly his freedom.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to segue into this so I’ll just go for it. Men have to start holding themselves to a higher standard in a lot of situations, but especially when it comes to dealing with confrontations involving women. I’m only 30 years into this life and I’ve already heard the “men are the more logical of the two” speech a million times. Now, IF that is the case, logic would tell you that a certain situation (liquor soaked disagreements) could go a certain way (very bad), so let me begin to take preemptive measures in order to (a) control the situation and restore order or (b) get as far away from the situation as possible. Sometimes, shit just jumps straight to letter b and that is when the practice of self-control has to take over. You cannot talk a hurricane back down to a light shower with small gusts of wind. That’s not how nature works. While the who-is-more-logical battle can rage on for an eternity, the debate of who tends to be more emotional last about 15 seconds – however long it takes to say the word women and the other 14 seconds for the applause to die down. Knowing that emotions tend to block logic should tell you that she (or he, sometimes) is upset and might do something that isn’t well thought out. Let me fall waaaaaaaay the fuck back.
Now, along with men holding themselves to high standards, women have to acknowledge that most times, men are stronger and bigger than them. Now, you are within your right to increase the volume of voice. You have the right to be angry and sad and mad. You have right to fling around accusations and allegations. But DO NOT POP SHIT. Don’t poke, pull, push, swing or kick. That is not the way to get someone to see your side and be understanding of your feelings. I am not victim blaming.
I’m a peaceful man. I have been fortunate enough to have never been in a relationship where emotions ran high and arguments were constant. I’ve never had a female, stranger or lover, approach me in an aggressive manner (at least non-sexually). Perhaps it is my demeanor or maybe I just know how to talk to wo….no, that… whatever. Admittedly, I’m speaking on something foreign to me. But I feel I know people, and I know how they should act in order to achieve and/or maintain harmony. Everything starts from within. Self-control.