Cole…You Stupid

You’re sitting at your desk, munching on a bag of honey roasted almonds. You go to sit the bag down on the desk, to your right. You turn to the left to say, check your phone, and when you turn back to your right, there is a 2nd bag of almonds. This bag of almonds is an exact duplicate of the original bag in every way. Do you eat both, neither or walk out the building?

If I were to move and had to choose my new place of residence solely on what could be delivered there, ALL of these would have to be marked as deliverable:

  • brick oven pineapple, chicken and green pepper pizza
  • 3 pack chocolate DM cigarillos
  • roast beef N.Y. carnegie deli style sandwiches
  • fifths of Jameson & 6-packs of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
  • honey roasted mixed nuts
  • STRONG indicas
  • liter bottles of water & toilet paper

I basically only want to leave my crib to hit the gym or go buy fruit. Also, all delivery people must be taller than average height women of Japanese descent between the ages of 20 and 25.

The flooding in Colorado is ill. It’s sad that a lot of people are most likely permanently displaced, or dead. If someone responded with, “yeah but they were in Earth’s way”, would they be considered heartless or a realist? Do you believe someone who claims to be rooted in reality is just using it as an excuse to mask their lack of compassion?

After the jail rape scene in the first episode of Sons of Anarchy, I had to give up on the show. I know the basis of the show doesn’t really allow for many bright spots in the story but it’s just too much. “Hey man, it’s just tv”. Yeah, but that shit wears on you after a while. And since it’s not a necessity in my life, I can say ‘ahhh, I’m done.’ Plus, how the fuck is Clay still alive? I mean really. If David Simon can kill Stringer Bell in 3 seasons, Clay should have died in Ireland, fuck that.

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