I was in Subway after I left the gym this afternoon and this round black chick in an orange CCBC hoodie walks through the door. She looked like the Syracuse Orangeman mascot with an excessive amount of shiny, black, fake hair. I mean so black and shiny that it looked like extremely thin strips of vinyl. So she waddles up to the counter, while blabbing on her Boost mobile, and proceeds to ask a series of questions that are only topped in stupidity by the retarded statements. “Y’all got melts ovah than breakfast subs?” was my favorite. The dude taking her order had to have encountered her before because he was way too patient. Well, that or he thought that giant rotted tangerine was attractive, to which I say *barfs on my own lap*

This is some shit I tapped in my notes on my celly on Sunday when I was washing my sheets. The title I put was ‘Unjustifiable Bitchyness’

Dumbass loaded her clothes half assed and jammed the door. Causes a mini flood and gets pissy with the laundry mat attendee. Word cunt, it was all her fault.

What really grinds my gears is, when the attendee was telling her that she had to wait until the washer completely drained before she could get her clothes out, she sighed and did that stupid shit where people whisper a prayer to their god praying for patience and blah blah blah. I wanted to lean over really close to her, slowly put both my middle fingers inches away from her nose and whisper “fuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooooou” but I’m fairly certain she would have mistaken my constructive criticism for declaration of war. I’m all about peace though, so I just put my things in the dryer and watched the game.

I hope they release a Baron Davis St. Patty’s Day jersey. I’m on it.