Sunday morning, for the first time in maybe a decade or more, I went to a morning church service. I only went because my god-mother asked me. She may be the one person I can’t say no to, as I’ve shot down my own mother’s requests numerous times. Fucked up, I know. Thankfully, I did not burst into flames upon entering the sanctuary, nor did I projectile vomit. I stopped going to church because frankly, I wasn’t getting anything out of the 2 hours but naptime. As I got older and my belief in a god began to fade, I really didn’t care to go. The last thing I want to do is be in someone’s house of worship and completely dump on everyone elses faith and beliefs. I’m not that much of an ass. But, everything happens for a reason. I don’t know if it was the universe at work or maybe a higher power but I’m happy to say I received a few gems. Anyone who may have been clocking me probably thought I was either bored out my mind or totally unhappy, but I was so focused on what was being said that the pastor could have talked for another 2 hours and I wouldn’t have cared. A message received is a message received, you know. But then they started doing the typical “black church” percussion and organ beat (you know which instrumental I’m talking about), and all my patience evaporated. I went to a christian elementary school and a catholic middle school. If I remember correctly, Jesus was for the most part a humble guy, so I still don’t understand why he is praised in such a loud and exaggerated way. When you’re “feelin’ it”, gotta let that shit out I guess.