Gotta get that paper dawg

I do my best reading on the toilet. Is that a universal thing? Is that why magazine racks for bathrooms were created? Is THAT what the cover on the toilet tank is flat for? So you can stack reading materials on it? If it was rounded, they’d surely slide off. In the process of doing some minor research on the signs, causes and cures for hemorrhoids, I read that the amount of time a person should spend sitting on the pot is between 3 and 5 minutes. I don’t know about anyone else but I sometimes get so sucked into a good read that I lose track of time, and become completely unaware of the lack of blood circulating to my feet. THE PINS. THE FUCKING PINS. The first medical thriller I read, The Fifth Vial by Michael Palmer, had me burning up 25-30 pages a spurt (I read in spurts, not long 30-40 minute sessions, my ass cramps easily) and sometimes a spurt can last longer than the suggested time for a healthy shit. What is a guy to do? I hate pausing in the middle of a chapter. But I also don’t want a pain in the ass. Literally.

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